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The Inheritance Page 13


  Eric I’m going to sleep next to you but not get fucked by you?

  Henry I wish you’d stop thinking in such absolutes. You should move in as soon as possible.

  Eric Should I bring all my things?

  Henry Your things?

  Eric My grandmother’s furniture.

  Henry I have all the furniture I need.

  Eric But they’re Grandmother’s things.

  Henry We can store them upstate.

  Eric At Walter’s house?

  Henry It’s just sitting there empty. All that matters to me is that you move in as soon as possible. This house gets too quiet without you.

  Eric Thank you, Henry.

  Henry goes back to work. Eric leaves.

  Young Man 3 and Young Man 4 appear.

  Young Man 3 Walter.

  Young Man 4 Yes, Henry?

  Young Man 3 Take your clothes off.

  Young Man 4 I’m reading, Henry.

  Young Man 3 Take your clothes off now. I wanna fuck you.

  Young Man 4 We’ve already fucked today.

  Young Man 3 I wanna fuck you again.

  Young Man 4 And again and again and again?

  Young Man 3 Yes. I never wanna stop.

  Young Man 4 Why do you want to fuck me, Henry?

  Young Man 3 I love the sounds that you make when I do.

  Young Man 4 You make me make them.

  Young Man 3 Let me hear them again.

  End of Scene Two.

  SCENE THREE

  Summer, 2017.

  Toby Toby Darling decided to write a new play. It would be a terrific play, filled with themes and ideas. Characters and plot. Dialogue and punctuation.

  Young Man 5 Fantastic! What’s the new play about?

  Toby You know what? Fuck it. Toby doesn’t feel like working right now. His play is going to Broadway in the fall.

  Young Man 3 So what’s he been up to?

  Toby Happy you asked! Toby has started dating this really hot guy.

  Young Man 8 Toby, I want you to meet my parents!

  Toby On second thought, Toby doesn’t want to get tied down with anyone right now. Toby’s doing just fine on his own.

  Young Man 2 That’s great, Toby.

  Toby Yeah!

  How’s Eric doing?

  Young Man 3 Eric? He’s terrific! In fact / he just got –

  Toby Good for him. Happy to hear it.

  Young Man 7 Has Toby talked to Adam recently?

  Toby Nah, Toby hates hanging out with actors. All they wanna do is talk about themselves. Toby, on the other hand –

  Leo Excuse me?

  Toby He’s been spending lots of time in LA, building up his film career.

  Leo Excuse me?

  Toby Drinks at Doheny Room. Dinners at Factory Kitchen.

  Leo Excuse me? I’m sorry to bother you.

  Toby What?! I’m in the middle of a –

  Adam? What the fuck are you doing here?

  Leo Adam? No, I’m Leo.

  Toby Leo?

  Leo We met last Christmas?

  Toby What are you doing here?

  Leo You gave me –

  Toby Wasn’t me, baby. I get tested regularly.

  Leo No, you –

  Toby And if you’re thinking of blackmailing me, you’re wasting your time. I drink a lot and I’m very active on social media.

  Leo You gave me your card, remember?

  Young Man 7 ‘Toby Darling, Child of Privilege’.

  Leo You told me to reach out if I ever needed anything.

  Toby I did?

  That was very nice of me.

  What the fuck do you need?

  After a beat:

  Leo Kindness?

  Young Man 6 But what Leo actually said was:

  Leo Can I take a shower?

  Toby A shower?

  Leo And maybe do laundry?

  Toby You knocked on my door at eight in the morning to ask me if you could do laundry?

  Leo nods.

  Can’t you do that at home?

  Leo Forget it. I’m sorry.

  Young Man 6 And then Toby looked at Leo’s clothes.

  Young Man 8 Rank and dirty.

  Young Man 5 Hair greasy.

  Young Man 3 Leo smelled.

  Young Man 4 And Toby said:

  Toby I’ll let you do this once.

  Leo Thank you.

  Toby gets a laundry bag.

  Toby Well? Hop to it, kid. Strip.

  Leo starts undressing.

  Do you always ask your clients for wash and fold service?

  Leo No.

  Toby Why am I the lucky one?

  Leo You were nice to me that night.

  Toby I was?

  Leo nods and continues undressing.

  Where do you live, Leo?

  Leo Around.

  Toby What does that mean?

  Leo Just … you know, I just …

  Toby Do you not know where you live?

  Leo doesn’t answer.

  Oh.

  Are you … I don’t know what we’re supposed to say anymore. Are you… experiencing homelessness right now?

  Once it’s clear Leo is not going to answer:

  I’ll get the shower started for you.

  Leo Thank you.

  Young Man 2 Toby starts the shower.

  Young Man 5 And he instantly feels the burden of Leo’s need.

  Toby Toby likes to be wanted but he hates to be needed.

  Young Man 7 But as Toby catches sight of Leo standing there in his living room –

  Young Man 4 Toby is reminded of how easily he could have shared this boy’s fate if Eric hadn’t rescued him all those years before.

  Toby Toby pushes thoughts of Eric to the back of his mind and decides to help Leo – if only for today.

  Young Man 3 And maybe, after Leo cleans himself up –

  Toby Toby might decide to fuck him again.

  Young Man 3 In the weeks that followed, Leo returned to Toby’s apartment with increasing frequency. The pattern was always the same:

  Young Man 7 Leo would reach out to Toby, asking if he could swing by to take a shower and do laundry.

  Young Man 5 Toby and Leo would have sex while Leo’s clothes dried. Toby always paid Leo double his rate.

  1. Toby’s Apartment

  Leo You gave me too much again, Toby.

  Toby Keep it. Walking-around money.

  Leo You keep fucking me like that and I’m not going to be able to walk at all.

  Toby Yeah, we’re good at that, you and me. You always cum with the customers?

  Leo I’ll get out of your hair now.

  Toby Why don’t you stay for dinner?

  Leo You don’t have to do that.

  Toby I know I don’t. That’s what makes it such a generous offer. Are you hungry?

  Leo I could eat.

  Toby Great. Chinese okay? Or maybe Mexican?

  Leo Whatever you want.

  Toby Let’s do Thai.

  He takes out his phone and places an order.

  Leo Hey, Toby?

  Toby Yes, Leo?

  Leo What do you do? For work, I mean.

  Toby I’m a writer.

  Leo Oh. Cool. What kind?

  Toby The unappreciated kind.

  Leo I don’t understand.

  Toby Nothing. I wrote a novel that I turned into a play that’s going to Broadway in the fall.

  Leo Oh. Cool.

  Toby Yeah. We start rehearsals in a few weeks. Do you go to the theatre?

  Leo No.

  Toby That was a stupid question.

  Leo Why is it stupid?

  Toby Never mind.

  Leo I’ve always wanted to.

  Toby Yeah?

  Leo nods.

  Actually, I’m supposed to go see Julius Caesar Friday night. Do you want to come see some Shakespeare in the Park with me?

  Leo I don’t know Shakespeare.

  Toby Well, he’s dead, so you can’t
.

  Leo I mean I’ve never seen any of his plays.

  Toby We’ll start with Julius Caesar. It’ll be a fun night out.

  Dinner’s on its way.

  Leo Hey, Toby?

  Toby Yes, Leo?

  Leo How come you don’t have any books?

  Toby Oh.

  Leo Aren’t writers supposed to have books?

  Toby Everyone in New York is supposed to have books. I lost them in the move.

  Leo Like, the movers lost your books?

  Toby No, my ex. He took them.

  Leo Oh. Are you gonna get more?

  Toby I should, shouldn’t I?

  Where are you staying right now, Leo?

  Leo I crash with friends sometimes.

  Toby And other times?

  Leo doesn’t answer.

  Toby You can always crash with me if you ever needed to.

  Leo I don’t like staying with clients.

  Toby I’m not a client, I’m Toby! It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me for Christ’s sake.

  Leo That would definitely cost extra.

  Toby And if you’re worried about staying with a client, I can always fuck you for free.

  Leo Or we could just not fuck.

  Toby I don’t understand those words when strung together in that order.

  Leo smiles.

  Leo Hey, Toby?

  Toby Yes, Leo?

  Leo You’re funny.

  Toby You said that the first time we met.

  Leo I guess I think it’s true.

  Young Man 3 Leo stayed for dinner.

  Young Man 5 And then a movie.

  Young Man 8 Later that week, Toby took Leo to Central Park for the Public Theater’s controversial staging of Julius Caesar.

  Leo Leo didn’t understand what was being said in the play but he was moved nonetheless by the emotions.

  Young Man 7 And then one Sunday afternoon in July, Toby took Leo to the Strand Bookstore to rebuild his collection from scratch.

  2. Strand Bookstore

  Toby Okay, I want to grab everything Doris Kearns Goodwin ever wrote. Also Barbara Tuchman. And David McCullough, too. Any book on Lincoln, I want. Any book on Gandhi, too. I want books on slavery but not the Civil War.

  Young Man 8 World War Two?

  Toby No.

  Young Man 5 Holocaust?

  Toby Yes. Nothing about Israel and Palestine. (Fucks with the feng shui.)

  Young Man 3 Crusades?

  Toby No.

  Young Man 6 Bubonic plague?

  Toby Yes.

  Young Man 4 Rwanda?

  Toby Yes.

  Young Man 7 Apartheid?

  Toby No. I want books on science but only the kind that are written as literature. Get me books on Hitler, Einstein, Mary Magdalene, Oliver Cromwell, John Muir, the space program, Neanderthals, Buddhism, organic farming, String Theory, the Kennedy Assassination, early Hollywood history and Chita Rivera.

  Then:

  We should get some books for you while we’re at it.

  Leo You don’t have to get me anything.

  Toby Stop it. You’re a reader. You should have books. Okay, let’s make this easy on ourselves. We’ll pick a country and start there.

  Leo plucks a volume from the shelf.

  Young Man 6 Jane Austen.

  Toby Okay, the Brits. So: Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma and Persuasion.

  Leo Wait, we’re getting all of these?

  Toby Yes!

  Young Man 7 Toby had never read any Jane Austen novels.

  Young Man 6 But he had seen the movies.

  Leo Have you always been a reader?

  Toby Yes, voracious. Okay, the Brontës! Let’s get Jane Eyre for Charlotte, Wuthering Heights for Emily.

  Young Man 8 What about Anne?

  Toby Fuck Anne.

  Young Man 4 Chaucer?

  Toby Snoozefest.

  Young Man 4 Conrad?

  Toby Grab Heart of Darkness.

  Leo Toby, there’s your book! Oh, there’s a lot of copies.

  Toby Yeah, what the fuck?

  Leo takes one, flips through it.

  Leo What’s it about?

  Toby Me. My life. Well, a slice of it.

  Leo Should I get it?

  Toby hesitates, then puts it back on the shelf.

  Toby Brits first, then Americans.

  Okay … Dickens … Great Expectations, David Copperfield, Oliver Twist. Jesus, did he only ever write about orphans? What’s next?

  Young Man 2 Middlemarch?

  Toby You’ll never finish it but you should at least start it.

  Young Man 2 Toby had once humiliated himself at a dinner party by betraying the fact the didn’t know George Eliot was a woman.

  Leo takes a book down from the shelf, inspecting it.

  Toby What’d you get?

  Leo E. M. Forster?

  Toby Which one?

  Leo (pronouncing it ‘maur-eese’) Maurice?

  Toby It’s pronounced ‘Maurice’.

  Young Man 7 Hugh Grant, James Wilby.

  Toby It’s a gay novel Forster wrote back in the teens.

  Leo He wrote this when he was a teenager?

  Toby No, numbskull. In ‘the teens’. Like now, but a hundred years ago. That’s actually one of Eric’s favorite books.

  Leo Who’s Eric?

  Toby Grab it. Also Room with a View.

  Young Man 7 Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter.

  Toby Oh, and Howards End.

  Young Man 7 Emma Thompson, Vanessa Redgrave.

  Leo’s phone dings.

  Toby Who’s that?

  Leo Oh, um …

  Toby What?

  Leo I have to go.

  Toby What, right now?

  Leo Yeah, um. I, um, I just have to be somewhere.

  Toby But we’re only up to the ‘F’s.

  Leo Yeah, I know, I just … I gotta go.

  Toby Go where? I thought we could go back to my place and watch a movie or something.

  Leo I can’t, these plans just came up.

  Toby What plans?

  Leo You know. Plans.

  Toby Oh. So cancel. Let’s hang out.

  Leo He’s a regular.

  Toby How many regulars do you have, exactly?

  Leo A few.

  Toby I didn’t realize you were so popular.

  Leo You’re the only one I hang out with in bookstores.

  Toby Do you still want your books?

  Leo Yes. Very much. If you still want to get them for me. Or just one would be fine.

  Toby Can I see you later?

  Leo I’ll text you. I’m sorry. When he calls, I have to – I have to go.

  3. Rehearsal

  Young Man 2 Adam McDowell was just weeks away from making one of the most thrilling Broadway debuts in recent memory.

  Young Man 8 Adam McDowell was going to be a star.

  Young Man 7 Adam McDowell was going to win the Tony.

  Adam Adam McDowell had never been more frightened in all his life.

  Young Man 2 Rehearsals had been tense from day one.

  Adam approaches Toby.

  Adam Hey, Toby?

  Toby Yes, Adam?

  Adam You got a minute?

  Toby Sure.

  Adam I had a question about page 74.

  Toby It is often to be found after page 73.

  Adam I had a question about this new line you wrote. I didn’t used to say it in Chicago.

  Toby Yes?

  Adam Right here where Elan says to Agatha: ‘Et tu Brutus,’ you’re obviously quoting from Julius Caesar, right?

  Toby Correct.

  Adam Okay. So. Here’s the thing. It’s actually ‘Et tu, Brute’ not ‘Brutus’. ‘Brute’ being the vocative case for ‘Brutus’, which is of course a second declension masculine noun.

  Toby What’s your point, Adam?

  Adam Well I’m wondering if you got that wrong on purpose or … ?

&nb
sp; Toby Or what?

  Adam Because you make a point of having Elan be this incredibly well-read and precocious seventeen-year-old. Like, kind of a genius. But if he’s getting basic Latin wrong, then that changes everything.

  Toby How so?

  Adam Well, it means he’s full of shit, right? It makes him kind of a fraud. It’s confusing to me because it’s inconsistent with what we know about the character.

  Toby And so …?

  Adam And so I was hoping we could just … get the line right.

  A beat, then:

  Toby I’d like to hear the line as I have written it.

  Adam But what you’ve written makes no sense.

  Toby It makes sense to me.

  Adam Then you play the fucking scene.

  He retreats, then:

  All I am asking for is just a little bit of help from you. I am up on that stage for an hour and forty-seven minutes without a single break. And I have to imagine that if I were any other actor in this company or any other actor in the world, you wouldn’t think twice about granting my simple and very respectful request. But because it’s me, because you’ve decided you hate me after telling me that you love me –

  Toby Keep your voice down / Adam. I never told you I –

  Adam Oh, I’m sorry, am I embarrassing you?

  Toby I never said that I loved you.

  Adam You attacked me and groped me / and declared your love for me.

  Toby I never groped you! I never groped him.

  Adam That night in my apartment in Chicago?

  Toby You were telling me a story about getting gang fucked by twenty Bel Ami models!

  Adam Shut the fuck up, Toby!

  Toby Oh now you feel like whispering!

  Adam Please, Toby. Don’t push me away. I need your friendship. I need you / on my side.

  Toby (exploding) I’m not your fucking mentor, Adam, and I’m not your fucking friend!

  He hurls the script down at Adam’s feet. Dead silence in the rehearsal room. All eyes on Toby.

  Adam wants to make a change on page 74. Let’s give the princess what she wants.

  Toby storms out of the room.

  4. Bar

  Eric Hey.

  Toby Hey. You look good.

  Eric Thanks. Thanks for seeing me.

  Toby Yeah, I’ve been meaning to reach out.

  Eric How are rehearsals going?